I come from the town of Hugenschpitten where I grew up cared for by a family of brewers because my parents traded me there for five casks of Hemell's Extra Strong So Strongly Strong (you better believe it is strong) Beer. To repair the psychological damage of my abandonment, I took to the brewery at the age of five, where I cleaned the mighty barrels, absorbing the essence of the beer into my body.
Over the years, I have developed a mighty power to behold, the ability to spontaneously appear mildly tipsy with a slight upset tummy. This special power I have turned to good in helping the poor understand the power of the jugs and free themselves of all need for cushioned insoles.
Watch as my brother Hans pour beer at our last BBQ. He is like a fine machine with the mighty barrels.